Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of (godly) Christian friends by a good fire? – C.S Lewis

Friendship is born at that moment when one friend says to another, ‘You too- I thought I was the only one. C.S Lewis

True friendship can be very rare but it is essential for your growth in Christ. You have to choose your friends wisely because the Bible tells us that bad company corrupts good morals. 1 Corinthians.15:33

I’m sure you’ve seen it time and time again, sometimes it happens to your children or your niece or nephew. They started attending school and all of a sudden they begin exhibiting signs of rudeness.

If the Bible says it, then it’s true and it’s true for you too because there are people who don’t want what’s best for you.

That’s why it important that you have godly Christian friends. 

I could have simply said Christian friends but there are many “Christians” out there that are not godly.

So, how to find godly Christian friends?

 

1. You can find godly friends by Going to church.

 

If I want to eat ice cream, I’m going to go to an ice cream parlor and the same is true if I want to eat pizza.

I know it’s pretty obvious that church is the place to find godly Christian friends but it isn’t surprising that many Christians don’t go to church as often as they should.

The local church was established for a reason. Everyone needs to fellowship with like-minded believers. God even told us in his word that we shouldn’t forsake meeting with each other. Hebrews.10:25

Every day that God wakes you up:  you go to work, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, government worker, or even if you work from home-work is usually not missed.

Why is it then that we feel like the church is optional? God established it and he has ordained it for a reason.

Go to church and talk to the women there. The local church usually has more women than men and I’m sure there is someone there that you can connect with.

 

 

2. Exercise wisdom.

 

One of the most quoted verses in the bible is Matthew.7:1. Judge not.

We quote it when we don’t want to accept correction from anyone that calls us out. And the Bible is right, the only person that has authority to judge us is God.

He has already appointed the day when we shall be judged. And nothing will stop the plans that God has already made.

But the Bible doesn’t just leave us hanging. We don’t have to just mope around feeling miserable as our brother or sister continuously make mistakes.

God has shown us in his word how we can judge from a safe distance based on the fruit that the believer produces. We can observe anyone who says they are Christians by looking at the way that they live their lives.

It doesn’t mean that our observation will always be true because only God knows that heart and its intentions but we can safely choose who we want to be friends with or befriend.

In the same chapter of Matthew, Jesus tells us we shall know them by their fruit. (Matthew.7:16-18)

You will look at the way that they carry themselves, listen to their conversation, observe their conduct, and pray that God would grant you wisdom as you observe.

 

 

3. You can find godly friends by Being Friendly.

 

Proverbs.18:24 Scripture tells us that we have to demonstrate friendliness in order to gain godly Christian friends.

You probably have someone in mind that you want to be friends with by now. Maybe you have been waiting for the individual to speak to you first. Maybe your shy like me and you don’t know what to say.

The onus is on you, my friend. If you want this person to be your friend; you have to be friendly to the person.

So, if you usually have a neutral expression, smile more, greet them whenever you meet them.

You can also complement them, they will start feeling comfortable with you and begin complimenting you too.

What else can you do to be friendly? We are in the age of technology and social media. If you can find them on FB or Instagram then send them a friend request. 

Let me add here that you shouldn’t do all of this every day. It’s best to talk to them one on one so you don’t go overboard. The intention is not for them to shun you; it’s for them to be drawn to friendship with you.

If you were wise and you prayed and felt that God told you to move forward with befriending this individual then they would also want to connect with you.

All you have to do is take the initiative. Once you have spoken to them for some time you can invite them out for coffee, to see a movie, for brunch, or even to the beach. The purpose of this is to choose activities that you’ve observed that they like that you like as well. Find a common ground.

 

 

4. Be Loving

 

Jesus laid down his life for us all. He demonstrated how great his love for all humanity was and he did it knowing that everyone still wouldn’t receive him.

One part of finding godly Christian friends is looking at the way that the individual loves. 1 Corinthians.13 shows us exactly what love does and doesn’t do. There are many things that can be avoided if we would look at the way this friend loves.

When someone is loving they find it hard to gossip, lie, slander, backbit, and all the other things that could possibly go wrong. (Proverbs.27:17) While you are observing look at the way the person loves others. (Proverbs.17:9) 

If the individual is loving then they will be trustworthy.  You have to also be loving and keep information relayed to you to yourself. Sometimes, we feel as though speaking about someone else’s mishaps might draw us into great friendships.

However, if gossip and slander are necessary to being someone’s friend then that’s not the godly Christian friends that you’re looking for.

Love covers a multitude of sins. If you love your friend and they love you; what’s spoken between the two of you will remain there.

 

5. You can find godly friends by being prepared.

 

Just like in marriage we have to take the bad days with the good. There is so much preparation that you can do to find godly Christian friends but let’s not just prepare for the good because bad days will come as well.

This is not being negative, it’s being proactive because most of us have insurance on our home, our vehicles, and ourselves as a precaution.

How can you be prepared for the worst before you even get a friend? If you follow the above four points and check out other articles and discussions and follow their points– you can still guarantee that along the way someone will make a mistake.

We don’t set out at the start of a great friendship to hurt them but if we live long enough we will realize just how imperfect and sinful we are.

Being ready to offer forgiveness is a necessary grace you will need to start practicing in your life. Also, you will have to learn to say that you’re sorry when you have wronged your friend. 

Maybe you mentioned someone to your friend’s husband that she hasn’t already shared with him. Or you could’ve been listening to gossip about your friend with good intentions but will she see it that way? And there are numerous things that can drive a wedge between you and your friend but being prepared will work in your favor.

When you seek godly Christian friends the devil doesn’t like it one bit so your goal should always be to remember who is the true enemy.

 

Are you ready?

 

This is just a little of what you should do to get godly Christian friends but are you ready to implement it?

Can you think of other ways that should’ve been listed? List them in the comments below.

I’m also seeking godly Christian friends and I’m constantly praying that God in his own time will direct my path.

Proverbs.17:17- A friend loveth at all times and a brother is born for adversity.

Want to know more about finding godly Christian friends, read this article from Brittany Ann on equipping godly women.

In times like these, when our focus is on Jesus, having the right friends will fix our perspective and strengthen our resolve to keep loving God and others.

Related Post: The privilege of friendship with God

I love you with the love of Christ.

Keneesha 🙂