There are many women who because of past hurts or difficult circumstances in life give off the aura of being unlovable. You may be tempted to ignore her and just walk the other way but that isn’t what you’re called to do as a woman of God.

Isn’t there a point in time when we are all unlovable?

Yes, you know you have that specific time when you’re probably a beast to be around. Or you’re going through a tough time and just not in the mood. Whatever the situation you can show love even when you don’t feel like it.

What God requires of us first and foremost of all his commandments is to love. Love covers all. This love is not based on how you feel, it is a requirement because you are a believer in Christ. This is agape love.

So, how can you demonstrate love to someone that you may deem “unlovable”?

Or what do you need to remember when you meet her again so you can love her like Christ?

Here are (6) six ways you can remember that love conquers all. Apply them to your heart so you can love unconditionally.

 

Remember that God first loved us

 

Firstly, God loves you. I don’t know about you but I can stop right here and don’t move on because this is reason enough to show love to the unlovable.

Even when you were dead in trespasses and sin God loved you so much, he sent his only son to die for you. Jesus took your guilt and shame because of love.

If you are worthy of Jesus’ sacrifice, raise your hand… You can’t, can you?

You aren’t worthy and neither am I.

So, let’s remember that whether she deserves our love or not because Jesus loved us enough to die for us, we will love the one that is seemingly unlovable.

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)

Eph. 2: 4-5

 

 

Be forgiving

 

Have you ever kicked rocks before? Yes, maybe? (Uh, why would I kick rocks?)

It’s fun the first couple of times but you will eventually get hurt, you may stump your toe, damage your shoe, or you may even miss and fall down.

For some time after, while the hurt is fresh, we will skip the opportunity to kick rocks but as time passes, we begin to forget what happened and we end up experiencing the hurt all over again.

Although we do this, when we reach out to the unlovable and we get hurt or they don’t respond like we thought they would we tend to hold on to that hurt.

Instead of releasing it and moving on, we hold on to it and we let it grow to a point where we don’t want to show love to that individual again.

What if Jesus was to do that very same thing? You wouldn’t be on your way to inheriting the kingdom of God.

Ladies, that ain’t right.

God wants you to forgive. Forgive and move on. Forgive and continue showing love. Just like Christ forgives you.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Eph. 4: 32

 

 

Forget about your pride

 

One of the seven deadly sins is pride. God even said that he hated it.

As a matter of fact, the sin that got a hold of Satan was pride. He wanted to be like God. When pride gets a hold of your life, ladies, ladies…

It’s not a good thing at all.

Put aside your pride if your love is thrown back into your face. Yes, I know it’s not easy but where would we be if Jesus didn’t humble himself and became obedient to the cross?

Jesus could’ve fought off all of those double-tongued individuals who beat him and spat on him, but he endured.

So, what if she refuses to hug you? You hug her anyway. Keep showing her love until she recognizes that you’ve been with Jesus.

And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

Phil. 2: 8

 

Don’t let her get to you

 

Remember who the real enemy is. It’s not that you are the reason that this sister is unlovable, no…

Something happened that caused her to be this way. This is what you have to find out so you can effectively offer love and solace.

When she may be fighting or saying hurtful things to get you to leave her alone to wallow in her self-pity, remember that she isn’t fighting against you.

Don’t take it to heart. It’s not personal.

Our enemies are and have always been the flesh, the world, and the devil.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

1 John. 2: 16

 

 

Be consistent

 

Be unshakeable. It’s at your weakest moment when you may feel like giving up that she may surprise you with a change of heart.

You can’t show love only when you feel like it. It’s not going to work. The effort that you put in will just be replaced and become firmer once you take a break. Her walls will redouble their effort to keep anyone out.

Call every day or find some other way to show that you care. Send her the link to an article that can encourage her.

Consistency will prove fruitful in the end.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Gal. 6: 9

 

Remember LOVE is a command

 

God has given us an important commandment to love him and to love our neighbor as ourselves. She is your neighbor. Ladies, she is your neighbor.

Just as you would want someone to look out for you and show you love when you’re in a difficult situation that is how you should treat her.

It really doesn’t matter if she is a believer or unbeliever, God has told us that people will know we are his disciples if we demonstrate love one to another.

As I’ve mentioned above, Love is not a feeling. It is a choice. God has commanded you to love; so obey. To obey is better than sacrifice. Love wholeheartedly.

And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.

1 John. 2: 3-5

Don’t just take my word for it, here are 7 ways to show love to the unlovable by ashes to beauty.

Tell me, would you identify yourself as unlovable?

Would these reasons help you to show love to those who are unlovable?

What did you take away from this post? Let me know in the comments if it was helpful…

Get this 31 days of love resource here.

Until next time,

I love you with the love of Christ. Join me as I love others God’s way.

Keneesha