This post is a continuation so if you haven’t read How to have a heart for your husband part 1 click here.
God has chosen marriage to be the first step to building a family. Marriage is honorable and ordained by God.
If you want your marriage to bring glory to God; here are more ways you can show your husband that you have a heart for him.
Be his helpmeet
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.
Gen.2:18
God divinely instituted marriage. He literally performed the first wedding ceremony. A man is not meant to be alone, all of us were created to a part of society. It is why we don’t like being alone.
I heard this saying many times as a young child, “no man is an island”. Everyone one of us craves community. We need each other.
One commentator said it like this,
“I will make a helpmeet for him- one who may not only reciprocate his feelings but take an intelligent and appropriate part in his active pursuits.”
Barnes notes on the bible
Girl, do you know why that man married you? It’s not just because he loves you, but because he can already see how you’re going to help him be better, he sees your intelligence and he already values your opinion.
Don’t try to lord over him; gently, sweetly, and lovingly display your heart for him by expressing your opinions with tender communication.
Lovingly guide him and help him become the man that God has purposed him to be.
Don’t let envy take root.
Over a period of time, I started comparing my husband to men who let’s say we’re seasoned in marriage. These men were, in my opinion, excellent examples of what (Christian) husband material truly is.
I let it fester in my heart and began thinking, surely my husband must know what he is doing wrong or isn’t doing at all and should try to fix it. But instead, my husband started noticing my behavior and became frustrated with me because every time he would ask me what’s wrong, I would say ‘nothing’ because I was acting like he could read my mind.
How silly of me!
Through Social media, I stumbled upon many posts as well as by reading the bible that essentially ministered the same thing over and over to me. What I came away with is that I was allowing envy to seep into my marriage.
How can I compare men that are married for over 20 -30 years to my husband of just 1 year?
Ludacris, right?
I realized that I had to grow with my husband just as he was growing with me. Then it dawned on me that this is probably why so many women want to date married men rather than finding a single guy.
To a certain extent the married man can come across as the perfect man because he has grown to a certain degree with his wife. (This is a topic for a next post, sorry 😊)
I vowed that as my husband was willing to grow with me and accept and love me through my flaws, I would do the same with him. It is truly amazing how much this has helped and is still helping my marriage.
Are you newly married? It will do you well to talk to your husband whenever envy creeps into your marriage. Left alone, envy can turn into a mountain of trouble that you didn’t see coming.
Learning from the experts. (women who’ve been married for long)
Certainly, I don’t fit into this category because at present I’ve been married for 3 years. I’m thinking of my mother and many other women who’ve been married for longer than I’ve been alive and I decided to find ways to have a heart for your husband from women who’ve done it the longest. This is what I’ve found out:
Listen before you speak
This is a common statement that is easier said than done. It is a skill that you can only hope to accomplish when you’ve been married longer than you’ve been single.
This will help with communication which is a huge part of marriage. Now and again you may slip up when communicating but it is important to always dust yourself off and continue to listen before you speak.
Don’t listen to reply and miss everything your significant other is saying while you wait to respond. Listening before you speak will surely show your husband that you care and your heart is his.
Beverly B. Palmer
This little tidbit comes from Beverly B. Palmer, Ph.D., a professor of psychology, clinical psychologist, and author who has been married for 50 years.
It’s the little things that count.
Did you notice that your husband needs new razors or cologne? Get it for him. I told you above that men are simple and it’s true. Surprise him by taking the car to get an oil change and a full tank of gas. If you take away some of his responsibilities, all that free time would be yours. 😉
Your husband will notice that you have a genuine heart for him and will appreciate and reciprocate these gestures back to you.
Initiate love-making
I remember someone (who has been married for over 50 years) telling me and others that she sets aside time to make love to her husband. We thought that sex was unnecessary at her age but one way you can stay closely connected to your husband is to schedule a time for sex.
Life can be busy, with kids and careers and cleaning and the like. However, neglecting your husband is not the way to go. (This is a no-no girl)
Think of all the mediums he can turn to on a daily basis and remember one of the reasons that your husband married you is because he was burning and he didn’t want to dishonor God.
So, with that in mind, have a special time set aside where you can initiate sex with your man.
Yes, girl initiate! Your husband will know how much you love him because even though you’re tired or not in the mood you still set aside time to woo, entice, and satisfy him.
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled:
Heb.13:4A
Don’t stay in your comfort zone, make an effort to surprise him however you choose to do so. Just be the one to initiate it now and again to show your husband that you care and that you understand his needs.
What to do?
Having a heart for your husband or future husband will be easy once you have a heart for God.
Once you place God first in your life then you will do what it takes to practice the same selfless love with your husband. Remember, you are showing love not to see what you can get back but because it’s what God wants you to display.
Before you leave, tell me what part of this post ministered to you if any.
These reasons aren’t exhaustive so if there is an important point you think I left out, let me know in the comments.
If you were motivated to develop a servant’s heart in preparation for your future husband, I would like to know. Drop a comment so I can pray for your development and that of your future husband.
Do you feel like God has called you to a life of devoted service without a husband? Let me know so I can pray that you develop a servant’s heart to assist the brethren and lead others to Jesus.
If you’ve managed to reach the bottom of this post without reading part 1 please read it.
Share this post with your friends and family.
Until next time,
Thanks for stopping by,
I love you with the love of Christ. Join me as I love others God’s way.
Keneesha 🙂
